Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize