i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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