last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
