It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
