She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
