I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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