She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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