before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
