Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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