I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
