Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Alive.
So much puke
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
