I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
