32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
