you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My balls are so social today.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
