butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
