You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
