she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
