what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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