He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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