therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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