Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
