Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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