Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
