thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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