No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
