first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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