There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
