Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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