you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
