You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
