shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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