how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
