That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let's get the cat blown out
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
