Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
