dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
