I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
