I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
