So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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