Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
