I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
