1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
