Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
