No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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