I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
