Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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