Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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