I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
