i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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