You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
