don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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