i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
