So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
