I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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