were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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