New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
