I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
