Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
