Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
