We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How naked do you want me to be?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
