Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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